Companioning The Bereaved: A Soulful Guide For Counselors & Caregivers

Companioning the Bereaved: A Soulful Guide for Counselors & Caregivers

About the AuthorAlan D. Wolfelt, PhD, is the author of Creating Meaningful Funeral Ceremonies, Healing the Bereaved Child, and Understanding Your Grief. He serves as director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and is on the faculty at the University of Colorado. He writes the "Children and Grief" column for Bereavement Magazine. He lives in Fort Collins, Colorado.Renowned author and educator Alan Wolfelt redefines the role of the grief counselor in this guide for caregivers. His new model for "companioning" the bereaved gives a viable alternative to the limitations of the medical establishment, encouraging counselors and other caregivers to aspire to a more compassionate philosophy. This approach argues that grief need no longer be defined, diagnosed, and treated as an illness but rather should be an acknowledgement of an event that forever changes a person's worldview. Through careful listening and observation, the caregiver learns to support mourners and help them help themselves heal.Excerpt. ? Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.Companioning the BereavedA Soulful Guide for CaregiversBy Alan D. Wolfelt Center for Loss and Life TransitionCopyright ? 2006 Companion PressAll rights reserved.ISBN: 978-1-879651-41-8ContentsTitle Page,Copyright Page,Dedication,Dedication,Part One - A Soulful Philosophy of Grief Care: The Art of Companioning the Bereaved,Part Two - From Philosophy to Practice: Wisdom Teachings for Companioning,A Final Word,ALSO FROM COMPANION PRESS,CHAPTER 1Part OneA Soulful Philosophy of Grief Care: The Art of Companioning the Bereaved"It's not surprising that as our culture advances in information and technology, we seem to become more inarticulate about matters of the heart. We quantify 'human behavior' and develop programs of therapy and treatment, and yet the procrustean trimming of the soul to fit our programs of science doesn't have much effect. We still encounter the soul briefly, as a set of problems, rather than as a creative and constructive source of life."- Thomas MooreIntroduction: A Declaration of My IntentAt the very heart of grief lies an irreducible mystery. I have come to discover that grief is a dimension of life experience that cannot be approached through rational thought. Instead, it responds more appropriately to humbled souls. In this spirit, I invite you to open your heart to what follows.My tenets of "companioning" the bereaved were written several years ago as I sat in a gazebo on the sacred grounds of the Center for Loss and Life Transition. Since that time of grace in my life, which encouraged me to try to express in words what I do when I "companion" people in grief, I've been honored that many people have encouraged me to teach more about these tenets. I've written the following words with a humbled heart and a desire to help people help others during time of grief and loss.This particular book has been long in coming; however, for that I take great pride. Many of my colleagues and students have urged me to write this book for some time. Yet, I felt a need to wait, listen and learn before I could express in words the art of companioning people in grief. It was important to me that I write this book in a manner and tone congruent with the ideas I am trying to communicate. I found I had to wait for my thoughts to coalesce in ways that would allow me to teach about my beliefs and how I try to "be" in my effort to help others come out of the darkness of their grief and into the light of living until they die. I believe this waiting was a part of my own maturation process.I am very honored that there is now an international network of thousands of people who have trained with me surrounding the companioning philosophy of caregiving to people in grief. Yet, there seems to be a place for this book in that many of my colleagues have either had to imagine, question, project, and, honestly, at times even judge w