Divorce Poison: Protecting The Parent-Child Bond From A Vindictive Ex

Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex

From Publishers WeeklyIn Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex, Richard A. Warshak (The Custody Revolution) offers guidance to parents whose exes portray them to their children in a negative light, whether it's mild, off-the-cuff badmouthing or systematic character assassination. Common psychological wisdom, besides recommending that parents avoid fighting fire with fire, suggests doing nothing. But Warshak has witnessed the feelings of powerlessness and the increasing difficulties that come from doing nothing. So he provides "a blueprint for an effective response grounded in a solid understanding of the techniques and dynamics of parents who poison their children's relationships with loved ones." After describing numerous nuances of inter-parental malignment (brainwashing, false abuse accusations, revisionist history, etc.), Warshak moves on to "Poison Control," both independently and with the help of professional counselors. This book will seem a godsend to the many divorcs who are bashed by their ex-spouses. (Regan Books, $26 304p ISBN 0-06-018899-5; Jan.)Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.The author offers readers the antidote to post-divorce venom, pointing the way to a mature, measured response to an ex's attempt to poison the atmosphere between child and parent. 30,000 first printing.From BooklistSome level of animosity is typical in divorce, but when parents let those feelings degenerate into bad-mouthing, bashing, or brainwashing, they run the risk of emotionally damaging their children, according to child psychologist Warshak. He looks at the poisonous relationships that develop when parents carry criticism of their ex-spouses too far: parents and children estranged from one another, protracted and bitter custody and visitation battles, and even ruined relationships with the extended families. He uses case studies to illustrate how parents--sometimes unconsciously, sometimes deliberately--force children to choose between them and turn against the other parent. He describes a range of difficulties, from tainted parent-child relationships to an emotional disturbance known as parental alienation syndrome. Warshak offers strategies for parents to examine their motivations when they speak against a former spouse, to curb negative impulses, and to repair damage that may already have been done. Useful resource for families dealing with divorce and child rearing. Vanessa BushCopyright ? American Library Association. All rights reservedReview"...offers valuable advice...helps you understand and heal your own hurts without hurting the children you love." -- Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and I'm Okay...You're a Brat!"A breakthrough book. . . . Well-written, balanced, and filled with insights, perfect for any parent who has been the victim of bad-mouthing." -- Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author of Father and Child Reunion and Why Men Are the Way They Are"An absolute must-read for any parent going through a divorce. . . . Lays bare the evils of parental alienation." -- Armin Brott, author of The Expectant Father and The Single Father"In this balanced, compassionate book, Warshak offers vital advice to those caught in the emotional maelstrom of a bitter divorce." -- Mark Pendergrast, author of Victims of Memory"Long overdue. Recognizes the critical importance of every child having a relationship with both parents." -- Karen DeCrow, attorney and past president, National Organization for Women"Skillfully draws attention to the devastating consequences of a poorly recognized form of child abuse--parental alienation. . . . Filled with clear advice." -- Michael E. Lamb, Ph.D., National Institute of Child Health and Human Development"The wisdom and insight of years of professional experience. . . . If you're divorced and you love your child, read this book!" -- Connie R. Ahrons, Ph.D., senior scholar, Council on Cont