Title
How To Survive A Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When The Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will),New
Delivery time: 8-12 business days (International)
Move over zombies and adolescent vampires.Theres a new threat in townand its only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And its here.Class 1 gnomeslayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven systemAssess, Protect, Defend, Applyfor safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include stepbystep instructions for gnomeproofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, andin the event that a secured perimeter is breachedconfronting and combating the attackers at close range.
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⚠️ WARNING (California Proposition 65):
This product may contain chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, or other reproductive harm.
For more information, please visit www.P65Warnings.ca.gov.
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To facilitate a smooth return process, a Return Authorization (RA) Number is required for all returns. Returns without a valid RA number will be declined and may incur additional fees. You can request an RA number within 15 days of the original delivery date. For more details, please refer to our Return & Refund Policy page.
Shipping & Returns
Shipping
We ship your order within 2–3 business days for USA deliveries and 5–8 business days for international shipments. Once your package has been dispatched from our warehouse, you'll receive an email confirmation with a tracking number, allowing you to track the status of your delivery.
Returns
To facilitate a smooth return process, a Return Authorization (RA) Number is required for all returns. Returns without a valid RA number will be declined and may incur additional fees. You can request an RA number within 15 days of the original delivery date. For more details, please refer to our Return & Refund Policy page.
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We provide a 2-year limited warranty, from the date of purchase for all our products.
If you believe you have received a defective product, or are experiencing any problems with your product, please contact us.
This warranty strictly does not cover damages that arose from negligence, misuse, wear and tear, or not in accordance with product instructions (dropping the product, etc.).
Warranty
We provide a 2-year limited warranty, from the date of purchase for all our products.
If you believe you have received a defective product, or are experiencing any problems with your product, please contact us.
This warranty strictly does not cover damages that arose from negligence, misuse, wear and tear, or not in accordance with product instructions (dropping the product, etc.).
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Frequently Asked Questions
- Q: What is 'How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack' about? A: This book is a comprehensive survival guide that prepares readers for a humorous yet fictional invasion by garden gnomes. It offers strategies for preventing and defending against these whimsical threats.
- Q: Who is the author of this book? A: The author is Chuck Sambuchino, who is recognized as a gnome-slayer and defense expert.
- Q: What is the publication date of this book? A: The book was published on September 7, 2010.
- Q: What type of binding does this book have? A: This book is available in hardcover binding, which adds to its durability.
- Q: How many pages does 'How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack' have? A: The book contains 112 pages.
- Q: What is the genre of this book? A: The book falls under the category of parodies, offering a humorous take on survival guides.
- Q: Is this book suitable for all ages? A: While the book has a humorous premise, it is generally suitable for older children and adults who enjoy parody and satire.
- Q: What strategies does the book suggest for gnome defense? A: The book outlines a system called Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply, providing step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing homes and recognizing gnome-related threats.
- Q: Is this book a serious survival guide? A: No, it is a parody and should be read for entertainment rather than as a serious survival manual.
- Q: Can this book be a good gift for humor enthusiasts? A: Yes, it makes a great gift for those who appreciate humor, parodies, and unique takes on traditional survival guides.