Title
I Love You So Much It'S Killing Us Both: A Novel,New
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Susan Chois Trust Exercise meets Nick Hornbys High Fidelity in a Black womans comingofage story, chronicling a lifechanging friendship, the interplay between music fandom and identity, and the slipperiness of sanitySet in the suburbs of Los Angeles and New York City, I Love You So Much Its Killing Us Both is an immersive journey into the life and mind of Khaki Oliver, whos perennially trying to disappear into something: a codependent friendship, an illadvised boyfriend, the punk scene, or simply, the ether. These days its a meaningless job and a comfortingly empty apartment. Then, after a decade of estrangement, she receives a letter from her former best friend. Fionas throwing a party for her newly adopted daughter and wants Khaki to join the celebration.Khaki is equal parts terrified and tempted to reconnect. Their platonic love was confusing, allconsuming, and encouraged their worst impulses. While stalling her RSVP, Khaki starts crafting the perfect mixtaperevisiting memories of formative shows, failed romances, and the ups and downs of desire and denialwhile weighing the risks and rewards of saying yes to Fiona again.One song at a time, from 1980s hardcore to 2010s emo, the shared and separate contours of each womans mind come into focus. Will listening to the same old songs on repeat doom Khaki to a lonely life of arrested development? Or will hindsight help her regain her sense of self and pave a healthy path for the future, with or without Fiona?
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