Title
The Great British Limerick Book: Filthy Limericks for (Nearly) Every Town in the UK,Used
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Surely it cant be done. But it has been done. For the first time in the history of mankind someone has been dedicated enough and fool enough to write a filthy limerick for every town in the UK which unlike Leeds or Devizes doesnt already have a classic filthy limerick to call its own. From Lands End to John o Groats, The Great British Limerick Book has a filthy limerick for your town, for your uncles town, for your cousins husbands exwifes town . as long as its in the UK and as long as it isnt one of those few places that are really impossible to find a rhyme for.There are over 900 limericks in the book. A lot of them are hilarious. Most of them are very funny. All of them are filthy.Guildford, SurreyAt McDonald's in Guildford in SurreyI spilt coffee on my crotch in a scurryI had to act quickTo cool down my dickSo I stuck it into my McFlurryNuneaton, WarwickshireThere was a young man from NuneatonWho really enjoyed being beatenAnd squeezing his knackersWith a pair of nut crackersAnd riding a bike with no seat onBath, SomersetThere was a professor from BathWho employed twentyfive research staffTo measure size and directionOf his every erectionAnd to plot the results on a graphThe Isle of Skye, ScotlandWhen I was on the Isle of SkyeI overdid the old Spanish flyI had a stiff memberFrom the fourth of DecemberTill Friday the tenth of JulyAshington, NorthumberlandIn Ashington there was a minerWhose wife was a fashion designerOne night to his shockShe dressed him up as a cockAnd herself as a six foot vaginaHackney, Greater LondonAs a chemist I worked once in HackneyAnd invented a treatment for acneBut one ingredientWas semen Id spentAnd they thought that good reason to sack me
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