Title
Ugly: A Letter To My Daughter
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A Tender, Moving, And Insightful Account Of Queer Motherhood And An Interrogation Of Life On The Margins Of American Culture As A SelfDescribed Ugly Womanugly Is A Word With Fangs That Can Kill A WomanS SelfEsteem In One Bite. Edicts About How Women Should Look, Behave, And Think Are The Brutal Forge Through Which They Are Made Not Born. And To Defy The Pretty Imperative Is To Become Invisible. It Can Be A Hard Thing To Admit To Yourself, Let Alone To Your Child To Say The Words, I Am Ugly, Or I Am Seen As Ugly. But Early On In Her Motherhood Journey, Watching Her Young Daughter Begin To Wrestle With Beauty Standards, Stephanie Fairyington Felt Compelled To Face Her Own Demons, To Unpack Her Own Ugly SelfPerception, One That She Could Trace To Her Own Childhood, In Order To Conquer This Seemingly Immoveable Frontier, Far Too Taboo Even Among Women To BroachThe Ways In Which WomenS Lives Are Unfairly Contoured By The Nature Of Their Looks.The Multiple Iterations Of Ugliness That Fairyington Saw In Her Young SelfHer Physical Appearance, Her Unavoidably Obvious Queerness, And Her Dissonant Gender ExpressionAre Not Present In Her Beautiful And Traditionally Feminine Daughter. But FairyingtonS Old Feelings Of Inadequacy Take On New Meaning As She Confronts Fresh Insecurities Around Her Role As The NonBiological Mother In Her Relationship, Exacerbating Wounds From A Lifetime Of Being Treated Differently: From The Poverty Of Her Genetic Inheritance To Questions About Her Parentage To Doubts About The Legitimacy Of Her Family.Interlacing Cultural History And Analysis With Memoir, Ugly Is A Probing Investigation Into Cultural Norms And The Formation Of Our Aesthetic Sense Of Self. Fairyington Contrasts Her SoCalled Ugliness With Her DaughterS Attraction And Adherence To Beauty Ideals, A Tender And Tenuous Condition That By Age Seven She Was Already Walking A Tightrope To Maintain. By Sharing The History Of Her Troubled SelfImage, Fairyington Invites Us To Go Rogue, To Invent A New Language And Logic To Overthrow All The Ways That Women Have Been Cultivated To Hate Themselves.
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